To induce or not to induce...

That is the question. Should I even be thinking about this now? Well, probably not, but when you work in labor and delivery and watch everyone get induced at 39 weeks, it's bound to be at the back of your mind. I also feel like my body is blissfully unaware that I am due in 11 days and is not doing anything to gear up for labor. My patient last week went into labor on her own and she was due after me! I was thinking "Hey, no fair! I am more pregnant than you are, and here you having your baby today."
I will be 38 weeks and 4 days tomorrow, which is when I was induced with Sophie. I had a lovely labor and delivery, so why wouldn't I just want to do that again? I can't really give you a black and white answer other than that I just want to experience going into labor on my own. Throughout this pregnancy I have had a desire to experience the whole process of laboring and delivering naturally. I can't tell you exactly why, but I really feel that God put that desire in my heart. Why did I not desire it last time? I have no idea, but I was definitely begging for that induction and would've been appalled to be still pregnant at 40 weeks.
I will say one thing though, it is much easier to say that you don't want to be induced earlier in your pregnancy as opposed to 39 weeks. I think our culture revolves around planning for the future so much that it is hard to not want to "plan" your birth. You start thinking about things like, when is my doctor on call, when can my husband be off work, will my family be in town, who will take my other child.... No wonder induction is so desirable to so many people.
Right now, I am praying for faith, patience and believing that I will go into labor on my own!

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in YOU. Trust in the Lord forever."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart."

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Baby Countdown!

I am in total countdown mode with this pregnancy now. I am 34 weeks and 1 day! Yippee! We are getting so excited to meet our new little bundle. And no, we still don't know what the sex of the baby is. I think it is funny the looks you get when you tell people you don't know if you are having a boy or girl. Most people give you this crazy look and say something like, " What, can you not find out yet?" With a quick glance down to my ever growing belly, I laugh and say, "Oh, we just decided to let it be a surprise." I do have to say that lately, I have been getting more positive reactions from older women who never knew what they were having. It's nice to hear a few people tell you how much fun it will be in that moment of surprise and joy. I can't say that I haven't had my moments of weakness. I definitely begged trey around 30 weeks to come with me to an ultrasound so we could find out. Of course he said, "No way, we've waited this long, we are not finding out now." I am so glad he didn't let me do it. I will say, they only negative thing has been not being able to do the nursery ahead of time. I am such a planner and love decorating anyway. I also didn't want to do a totally gender neutral nursery, so that has been frustrating at times, but I still think it'll be worth it.
It's wierd, this pregnancy has been similar to my pregnancy with Sophie, yet so different. Because of my job, I have a totally different mindset about childbirth, a different doctor, a different hospital, and it's a surprise. With Sophie, I was pretty much planning my induction at the moment of conception. I ended up being induced at 38.5 weeks and had all internal monitoring, epidural, episiotomy. . . and I still felt like it was a great delivery. For some reason I have had a huge desire to have an unmedicated delivery this time. I also don't want to be induced, but that is easy to say at 34 weeks. We'll see how I feel at 39 weeks when that induction is sounding so good! After having such a big baby the first time (9 lbs) I have no desire to find out just how big of a baby I can deliver if you know what I mean. Especially since I want to try to do it without drugs! (BTW, I am totally not knocking all the medical interventions we have available. So it you are pregnant and going to have an induction etc... I say go for it. You should do what you feel led to do with your baby and your body.) I really hope that this delivery goes how I want it to, but ultimately I have really had to let go and realize that no matter what, I am not in control and God is!
I am sure I'll be blogging about the delivery afterwards, so stay tuned. I have been addicted to reading people's birth stores lately, so it'll be fun to write my own.